It was a ruse. But yet. Somehow, the lights on the streets flickering, the large panes of glass shattering, the thought and then the invitation aligning. I broke the pattern of false honesty, and somehow arrived in his world to genuine surprise and asking. Pull yourself together man. He does. And I’m disappointed. Who doesn’t want to shatter someone’s composure? Not permanently, but to see the vulnerable side. To be welcomed through shaking hands into secret desire. And in reciprocity it really counts. Love love me do. I’ve been gazing in mirrors, at the sky. Inverted clouds are still grey, and the streetlights never shine here. Rarely then, but still. The midnight sun, the daylight fading but never fully falling asleep. Endless thoughts of you. Repress, repress repress the moon. But it leads to exhaustion. It leads to weariness, it leads to a feeling that isn’t quite honest.
A ruse. He always was. Brave face forward, shined shoes. Best dressed, perfectly im-perfected. Calculated. All the right answers. And he misses but one, just ever so briefly. And I think, “but oh for more…” For more glimpses through the ever lasting daylight. The truth of the night sky; it’s here somewhere. If I stare hard enough, magnified mirror, objects coming closer and closer to my sight. Be with me. Lay under this planet’s domed ceiling, this vaulted vastness and tell me you care.
esssleeps 